Bourbon in hand, we take aim at a tender truth: kids don’t break marriages, unspoken change does. We sit with Mark and Bri, the duo behind Intimacy Evolution, to unpack how partners drift from lovers to roommates and how to stitch connection back into a life run by diapers, deadlines, and depleted energy. They share what most couples miss, bonding timelines differ, resentment hides under tiny fights, and presence beats problem-solving. You’ll hear the 4 H’s to ask for the right kind of support, why “tell me more” seven times gets to the heart, and how regular intimacy can be the simplest reset button.

We go inside men’s work with practical detail. Mark describes a free monthly men’s circle and immersive retreats where guys move from small talk to real talk, use breath work and embodiment to release stress, and leave better able to listen at home. Separate is sexy, within clear boundaries, because individuality feeds attraction. And we get personal: a mentor’s question pushed Mark and Bri to close a practice, sell a home, and move to Bentonville to build a new model for relationships. They explain why classic couples therapy often mismatches the stakes and how their two-on-two coaching with daily support prioritizes deep connection over rehashing old conflict.

If you’re tired of surface advice, this conversation offers tools you can use tonight: set a weekly state-of-us, try the 4 H’s before advice, create micro-rituals that spark closeness, and find a circle that holds you to your best. We want Northwest Arkansas, and your home, to be healthier, braver, and more connected. 

Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave a review with the one ritual that brings you and your partner back together.

More About this Episode

How Parenthood Challenges Marriages—and How to Thrive Through It

When we talk about relationships, especially marriages, there’s an unspoken truth that too often gets brushed aside: becoming parents drastically changes everything.

It’s a topic that doesn’t get nearly enough attention. Yet it’s one of the most important conversations we can have, especially as we juggle roles as spouses, parents, professionals, and individuals. In a recent conversation on the B Team Podcast, we were joined by Mark and Brianna from Intimacy Evolution, a Bentonville-based relationship coaching company dedicated to helping couples reconnect and thrive, especially after becoming parents. The conversation was deep, candid, and eye-opening. So today, I want to dive into the real challenges couples face after kids, why traditional counseling often falls short, and what it really means to evolve your intimacy over time.

Why Parenthood Can Break a Marriage

Here’s a reality check many couples quietly endure: One-fifth of marriages end within two years of having a child. Not because of the child, but because of what parenthood does to the relationship.

You start out as a couple, focused on each other, with time for dates, sex, spontaneity, and connection. Then a child enters the picture. Suddenly everything changes, your time, energy, emotional availability, and even your identity. Mom becomes consumed with the needs of the baby (especially during the early months when breastfeeding and bonding are intense). Dad, meanwhile, often finds himself on the outside looking in, unsure of how to help, support, or feel relevant.

Mark put it perfectly: “Before kids, we were having a similar experience. Once our child arrived, my wife had this natural bond, and I had to build mine from scratch. It was confusing, and I felt distant, not just from the baby, but from her.”

If you’ve ever felt the emotional whiplash of transitioning into parenthood, you’re not alone. The key is acknowledging it and giving yourself grace to adjust, rather than expecting things to go back to the way they were.

Men Have Postpartum Too—We Just Don’t Talk About It

One of the most powerful insights that came from this conversation is that men experience postpartum depression too.

It might not look like weeping on the couch or discussing our feelings. For men, it’s more often masked as frustration, avoidance, irritability, or diving into work to escape. It's also compounded by the loss of connection with their partner and their new identity as a father.

Brianna pointed out that postpartum can last up to seven years after your last child is born. That means many couples are walking around carrying emotional weight they don't fully understand, and no one’s giving them a roadmap for how to navigate it.

Why Most Marriage Counseling Doesn’t Work

Another sobering statistic that came up during our conversation: marriage therapy only works about 20% of the time.

The traditional model of therapy, once every two weeks with a single counselor, while a couple tries to unravel years of emotional complexity, just doesn’t cut it when you're in crisis. You're already on the brink. You don’t need small talk. You need transformation.

That’s exactly what Mark and Brianna are challenging. Through their business, Intimacy Evolution, they offer a two-on-two coaching model, each partner gets support, and the couple gets it together too. Plus, it’s daily support, not just a monthly check-in. That intensity matches the seriousness of the problems they help solve.

They understand that the real issue in most relationships isn’t the conflict itself, it’s the lack of connection. As Mark put it: “We’ll always have conflict. But can we connect deeply enough that the conflict is worth it?”

“Separate is Sexy”: Maintaining Individual Identity in Marriage

One of the most refreshing ideas we took away from this conversation was their philosophy: “Separate is sexy.”

When couples first fall in love, there’s a sense of curiosity and discovery. You each had your own lives, hobbies, and stories. As the years go by, you merge routines, blend interests, and eventually become so intertwined that there’s little mystery left. That’s where things can get stale.

The solution? Spend time apart intentionally. Let your partner miss you. Go on that guys’ weekend. Let her take the tennis trip. And then come back together with something new to talk about, share, and reconnect over.

“Your spouse shouldn’t be your everything,” Brianna emphasized. “It’s not fair for them to carry all of that. You need outside support, friendships, and outlets that don’t burden your relationship.”

The 4 H’s: What Your Partner Really Needs

Another practical takeaway was the concept of the Four H’s, a simple framework for understanding what your partner may be looking for in a moment of connection or conversation.

Ask your partner: Do you want to be Helped, Heard, Held, or Humped?

It’s funny and relatable, but it also cuts straight to the point. Too often, we try to jump into “fix-it” mode without knowing what our spouse really needs. Sometimes, they just want to vent. Other times, they’re looking for emotional reassurance or physical connection. Learning to pause and ask this question can change the way you communicate, immediately.

Men Need Men—Real Conversations Beyond Sports and Bourbon

As guys, we’re often comfortable talking about work, sports, and whiskey. What we rarely ask each other is: How’s your marriage? Are you happy? Are you connected at home?

That’s the void Mark is filling with his monthly men’s groups and retreats. Every first Tuesday of the month, a group of men meets in Bentonville to talk honestly about what’s going on in their lives. No judgment, no BS, just real connection.

“We need other men,” Mark shared. “Men are meant to support and be supported by each other. You show up, you share, and you leave with something lighter.”

There’s also a multi-day retreat experience held twice a year, bringing men from all over the country for deep emotional work, connection, and growth. The retreat follows a “hero’s journey” structure, designed to push past the surface, get into the heart of what’s holding you back, and come out renewed.

These events create brotherhood and real change. And no, they’re not just emotional therapy circles. There’s play, challenge, and plenty of uncomfortable growth, but also transformation.

How to Reconnect As a Couple—Even If You’ve Drifted

Let’s face it: many couples drift into roommate territory. Kids, careers, and survival mode take priority. You blink, and it’s been years since you had meaningful intimacy or deep conversation.

So what now?

That’s where Mark and Brianna’s work shines. They help couples move from disconnection back into partnership and passion, not by focusing solely on the past or problems, but by rebuilding connection in the present.

They also emphasize that staying “for the kids” isn’t noble, it’s harmful if the relationship is loveless or toxic. “Your kids know,” Brianna said. “They pick up on the energy. You’re modeling what relationships look like, and they’ll carry that forward.”

Instead of choosing between misery or divorce, they offer a third path: evolve.

You Don’t Need to Stay Stuck

If you're a parent navigating the fog of marriage, work, and identity loss, this is your reminder that you're not alone, and you're not doomed to stay stuck.

Yes, relationships are hard. Raising kids is exhausting. And nobody hands you a rulebook. But there is support available that actually works. It’s not about fixing your spouse. It’s about evolving together, learning how to communicate better, connect more deeply, and build a life that supports both of you as whole individuals.

Whether that means attending a men’s group, signing up for a couples coaching program, or simply having the hard conversation at home tonight, the first step is always honesty.

Ready to Evolve?

If this conversation resonated with you, check out Intimacy Evolution at intimacyevolution.com. You’ll find free resources, info on monthly men's groups and couples retreats, and real-world coaching that’s changing relationships, not just in Bentonville, but across the country.

You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through parenting and marriage. You don’t have to settle for disconnection. With the right tools and support, you can reignite the spark and build a partnership that’s stronger than ever, even with kids in the mix.